Posts Tagged ‘death’

The pain of walking away
Stays with me
But how could I evolve if I did stay?
How could we be happy?

Loving you was a metamorphosis
I never knew that loving you
Being lost in the taste of your kiss
Would transform me into something new

Tradgey struck
Loss greater than any love can heal
Here we were stuck
Life so painful and surreal

You lost a piece of you too soon
And I lost you
Time for the cocoon
Time to transform pain anew

There is no work here
Just waiting and processing it all
The cocoon makes you face fear
I wait wrapped in a shelled ball

Of thought and grief
Embracing the here and now
So still we are in our beliefs
But most evolve somehow

The time is coming for me too
Wake up and break free
Leave my cocoon and see anew
Butterfly wings will sprout from me

Before I can fly
I await in my cocoon
As my old self dies
And my new self will emerge soon

Until then I lay still
Letting us go in time so slow
Processing everything I did feel
Understanding it was best for me to grow




“Sometimes I dream unimaginable things. Some of which brings me joy and peace and other times my  imaginary mind taps into the dark depths of my soul, to take works of unknown and unwritten fiction and have me experience it first hand within the realms of an alternate dimension, which we know as the dream world.”

I took out a big beautiful chocolate chip cookie from my purse and unwrap it, as I am thinking back on my dream.  Staring at it and enjoying its delicious aroma.  I wonder, ‘why cant I dream of being able to eat all I want in a world made of cookies and meet my idol, Cookie Monster?  He is King to me!’

I continued on what I had to say.  “I understand Cookie Monsters addiction and how well cookies solve alot of problems and perhaps cause them too.”

I wiggle in my chair to move to be more comfortable, as I am aware I have gained a few pounds recently as my jeans are a bit more snug.

I looked out to the group in front of me and passionately state.

“If you love the cookie you must love all of it, for the good and the bad.”

I took a bite and my tastebuds sang.  Then my thoughts returned back to my dream last night.

“The crumble of the cookie has occurred and instead of all that is good and sweet, I remember a world of mud and from the earth rose three unsightly demons.  Tied up, like meat on a stick and wearing an omish style dress that is ten times removed from my style.  I am way to fashionably inclined to be caught dead in such a homely dress.  There were other women that were dressed in the same garb and fastened in rope on the death sticks as well.  Misery likes company but what company was about to visit?  There sure wasn’t a cookie of hope in sight!”

I finish off my cookie, satisfied for the moment as my sugar cravings have subsided.  I continued to speak to the group.

“I recall three demons that arose from the ground and my breath quickened with fear as they were to come for us.  Bad news was I was badly dressed in the dream and my cookie craving returned without a cookie in sight.  Good news is I woke up untouched from evil demons known as the mud kings.  So here is the deal.  I feel that if you eat a cookie or few of them before bed you have a fighting chance to ward them off.  In case they maybe kinda sorta are real.  I mean it isn’t like I am really that creative to come up with demons made from mud.  So I suspect my cookie addiction saved me and I must continue eating cookies if I want to stay alive.  If I stop they may very well kill me.  So you see I’m really not an addict.  I am doing this to survive.  You don’t all want to be responsible for my death do you?”

The counselor shook his head and looked at me like I was a crazy cookie and questioned me.

“Ahh ok so that is your answer?  So my question was how long has it been since you have had any sugar and you just ate a cookie, in front of all of us while telling us you think you will die if you don’t eat cookies before bed and recommend all of us to do the same because of something you dreamt?!”

“Um yeah that sounds about right.”

“Ok, thanks for sharing but you do realize this is a sugar anyomous group and the point is to help you rid of your sugar addiction not help you keep eating cookies right?”

The counselor’s deep look of concern was making me want another cookie.  I looked at the people in the group.  The group looked at me with mixed reactions of shaking heads, frowning, smiling and some just looked puzzled.  I decided to pull out another cookie and eat it before I answered.